Woman who lost dad and husband donates to Paisley's RAH

Dawn Barilli, 40, told how the trauma of losing husband Joe Cooke suddenly at the age of 42 in May 2023 will stay with her forever.

Joe passed away after spending five days in intensive care at the Royal Alexandra Hospital (RAH) in Paisley.

He had undiagnosed polycystic kidney disease, for which he had no symptoms, and this that led to him collapsing with an aneurysm and going into cardiac arrest.

Dawn with Debbie (Image: Supplied)

Dawn, who had been with Joe for 23 years since she was 16, said: “The one-to-one care Joe received in ICU was fantastic.

“He had the same nurse, Debbie Spencer, for four of the five days.

“She was only supposed to be working three of those, but I remember her staying on and doing an extra shift so she could be with him.

“They were so compassionate and the way they supported us at such a difficult time was amazing.”

Dawn at the RAH (Image: Supplied) Dawn’s grief was then further compounded when her dad, 57-year-old Don Barilli, passed away in October the same year after battling bone marrow cancer and receiving treatment at Inverclyde Royal Hospital (IRH).

The mum-of-two, who has sons Reece, 22, and Lennon, 18, has given £5,000 to the RAH intensive care unit, £10,000 to the IRH renal unit and £5,000 to the haematology/oncology service at the IRH.

She has also donated £5,000 to Inverclyde charity Mind Mosaic, which has been supporting her, Reece and Lennon since Joe passed away, as well as £1,000 to Ardgowan Hospice and money to buy new football strips for the New Scots who have arrived in Inverclyde.

All of the money was raised by friends and family of Joe and Don, with one of Joe’s friends walking from Inverclyde to Parkhead in 24 hours, while others took part in the Kiltwalk.

They have also held fundraising events including a memorial fun day on the anniversary of Joe’s death.

Dawn with staff at the RAH ICU (Image: Supplied)

“All of the fundraising has kept me going and kept me sane,” explained district nurse Dawn, who is from Greenock.

“I chose the RAH and IRH because I wanted to thank the staff there for the phenomenal care given to both Joe and my dad.”

Dawn said her dad’s cancer had been relatively stable until Joe passed away, but told how his health declined suddenly, which she believes was because of the devastation he felt over the loss of his son-in-law.

She said: “He couldn’t cope seeing me unable to cope.

His health just declined and by the October his cancer had spread and he passed away.

“Joe had no symptoms whatsoever. He lived a normal, relatively healthy lifestyle.

“He woke up in the morning and was absolutely fine.

"He was brushing his teeth and collapsed in the bathroom.

“I performed CPR until my colleague Gillian Stewart, who is a district charge nurse, arrived and took over, allowing me to stay on the phone with the ambulance service.

“When we got to the RAH ICU they discovered he had undiagnosed polycystic kidney disease.

“It had caused his blood pressure to rise and an aneurysm which ruptured that morning, and he went into a full cardiac arrest.

“It was horrendous.

"The trauma will live with me for the rest of my life.

“He was in a coma in the ICU for five days. He had a brain scan to see if there had been any healing, but it was worse than expected and there was no recovery.”

Dawn and Joe (Image: Supplied) Last week, Dawn visited the RAH ICU to present a cheque to staff including charge nurse Debbie, charge nurse Rachel Burns, consultant Professor Kevin Rooney, senior charge nurse John Hunter, registered nurse Kirsty Thomson, healthcare support worker Helen Fraser and ICU housekeeper Senga McGhee, who were all involved in Joe’s care.

The donations from Dawn and her friends and family will go into the IRH and RAH endowment funds.

Don Barilli (Image: Supplied)

Debbie, who has been working for the NHS for 28 years, said: “It is a privilege to have cared for Joe, and to have got to know Dawn and her family, albeit in the saddest of circumstances. They are a really special family.

“We have been overwhelmed by Dawn’s generosity, with her friends coming together to raise money for the unit, and we are so grateful.

“It’s a real privilege to work in ICU and give our time and support to patients, some of whom may be at the end of their life, as well as their families and loved ones.”